Pleading....

I'm pleading with my Heavenly Father right now and hoping that if it is His will, my earthly father's life will be spared for a little while longer. My dad had another heart attack today. The scenario was similar to Bill's heart attack almost 2 years ago, except he didn't collapse at home, he collapsed in the emergency room. He became unconscious and they had to do chest compressions, my mom said. They did an angiogram and found a blockage, but tomorrow they'll run an echocardiogram to see the extent of the damage. They were a bit concerned that he didn't wake up right away after the procedure, but they are doing hypothermic therapy where they circulate cold fluid through his veins to keep his body temperature cool so that his brain can heal. Because his heart stopped (the reason they were doing compressions), his brain was deprived of oxygen. They have no way of knowing the extent of his anoxic brain injury at this point. They will have to wait for him to regain consciousness.

My sister-in-law Mandi had to call me to tell me the news and it was so hard on her. That isn't the type of news you want to have to deliver to anyone. She said that while she initially got the information from my mom, her son Kaden was standing right there and heard everything. It really shook him up. I don't want to have to tell my kids, either. My parents made it a goal to be the best grandparents, ever and they have totally exceeded this goal. Their grandkids love them so, so, so much. They live for weekend sleepovers to be with them. Weeklong sleepovers are treat to revel in.

Right now, I feel like I want to throw up, but I can't. My heart is stuck in my throat. My knees feel weak. I'm worried because of the thought that crossed my mind today at about 4:30. We saw an ambulance rushing north. Since Bill's dad lives north of us in Erda my thoughts immediately turned to him. I thought, I hope he's ok, but if he's not we'll be able to have the funeral during spring break. Writing this down seems like a very selfish thought. It is so stressful for me to have to get a substitute teacher. I was extremely grateful that Bill's mom's funeral was during a Thanksgiving break. I was also thinking all last week how important it was that I be able to go to a movie with my parents this past Saturday, you know, "just in case". Since he was so sick with cellulitis, kidney problems and a mild heart attack the middle of February, the feeling that he may not be with us very long has been forefront on my mind. I hate that feeling. I hate the "premonitions" I seem to get. I really, really hope these weren't premonitions.

I'm not sure if anyone reads my blog anymore, but if you do happen to read this, could you spare a prayer for my dad?