A bit of catching up...

A lot has happened in my life in the past month. I need to get this down and I'm finally able to do it without crying, I think!

Here we go...

On Sunday, July 20, 2008 my husband collapsed as a result of a near-fatal heart attack. It was about 7:45 in the evening and he had just returned from a walk. He seemed to be walking quickly and seemed a bit winded when he came into our room. I was at the top of our bed thumbing through a biological supply catalog and he sat down at the foot of our bed to read a novel on his laptop. Within a few minutes of him sitting down, I noticed that he was snoring. I couldn't believe that he had fallen asleep so quickly, so I turned and said, "Hey! You can't fall asleep so fast!" That's when I noticed that he was snoring with his eyes open. He was unresponsive and I immediately called 911.

I figured that he was still breathing since he was making that snoring sound, so but I wasn't able to reposition him in case I needed to do CPR because he had slumped into our closet, leaning on a stack of blankets. I sent the kids outside to flag down the police. His lips turned blue just as the police came through the door. It took them a minute or so to get him out of our room and into the hall, but they were able to start rescue breathing. I then went outside to check on the kids and the EMS arrived. They were in there quite a while with him. Later I found out that they had to shock his heart 4 times.

When he was stablized, they took him to our local hospital where he remained unconscious. His brother and a male nurse were eventually able to give him a blessing. He was told that he would heal. Soon after that, they lifeflighted him to a hospital in "the big city". J was very jealous that his dad got to fly in a helicopter, but we assured him that Daddy wouldn't remember a thing, so he really didn't need to be jealous, lol. So, B's brother drove me to the hospital in the city and my visiting teacher drove my kids and my SIL to her house so they could spend the night at her house. My dad was driving up to meet us at the hospital.

Once at the hospital, it was just a lot of waiting around. Finally, at about 12:30am, the doctor came in and said that a clot had blocked one of his coronary arteries about 90%. They placed a stent there, and noted that his other arteries weren't blocked. They also had to keep him sedated and lower his temperature to about 94 degrees because that has been shown to help heal the brain when it has been deprived of oxygen (we know it was deprived of oxygen for at least a minute, maybe longer). So, we waited. I stayed with him through the night. The nurses were wonderful--letting me change the wet washcloths on him as they warmed up. He had ice packs all over and fans blowing on him, but his temperature never did drop to 94 degrees. The closest it got was about 95.5, I believe.

My dad took my home at about noon on Monday, and we brought the kids home. I got a phone call at about 5 pm saying that they had brought him out of sedation and were letting him warm up, as he wasn't showing signs of dropping his temp any further, but he was responding well to stimuli and he had opened his eyes and was looking around. So, probably against my better judgment, the kids and I went up to the hospital to see him. We were disappointed to see that he was still sleeping. But, all three of us noticed that when we slipped our hands in his right hand we felt a constant, steady pressure. We weren't sure if it was a coincidence or not, but it was a teeny bit reassuring. So, we went home, a bit disappointed. I was crying, but told the kids that my eyes were watering because of the wind or something like that. When we were almost home, the nurse called and said, "I thought I should call and give you some good news before you go to sleep tonight. A bit after you left, we woke him up and he responded to every one of our commands--tracking a light, wiggling his toes, squeezing our hand. I just thought you should know." Oh my. She must have been inspired to call us. We all slept very well that night.

Tuesday morning, we went up to the hospital. He was still in the cardiac ICU, but was sitting up. They removed the ventilator tube and he was finally able to talk. The kids got to see him and hug him and kiss him. My dad was there too, as he was going to take the kids down to his house to stay with them, and also with my brother and his wife and kids for the remainder of the week.

Throughout that day, and Wednesday he was exhibiting some short-term memory problems. This was probably a result of his brain being deprived of oxygen, and possibly a side effect of the medication. He had broken a tooth when they had first intubated him and that was driving him batty. But, he was alive and doing well. They moved him to a cardiac monitoring unit--more or less a regular room and he was able to get up and walk short distances within the room.

By Thursday, they had me walk the halls with him and determined that he was ready to be discharged from the hospital. WHAT????? I was no where near ready!!! They had all the monitoring stuff at the hospital. I had none of that stuff! How could I sleep? He snores, and that was the sound that sent chills down my spine, as that's what he was doing when he had his heart attack. Somehow I made it through that first night, and jumped at the chance to get him on a sleep study on Friday night to check for sleep apnea. I knew he'd be on monitors and that he'd be ok.

As the week progressed, I finally had an epiphany. I was stressed about being there for him and saving him if I needed to. I was afraid to leave him, because I wouldn't be there if "it" happened again. Finally, I realized that it wasn't up to me. Heavenly Father made sure someone was there because it wasn't his time to go. If it happened again, and it still wasn't his time, then He would again place someone there to save him. Once I realized that, I was able to place that burden of "lifesaver" squarely back on Heavenly Father's shoulders, where it belonged. After that, I was able to begin to heal.

It has now been over a month now. He is doing amazingly well. He is going to cardiac rehab 2-3 times a week and has had no issues whatsoever. Our family has truly been blessed. I am forever grateful that in this instance God's will happened to match my own.